Holiday Spirit? Too Soon

I plan on cashing in on the holiday craze.  I am currently seeking financial backing to create purple and orange Halloween lights that with a click of a button turn into red and green Christmas lights.  Heck, why stop there?  Keep those lights up all year round and with another click they turn pink and yellow for Easter and give off a slight hologram of eggs.  But wait there's more.  Moving through the seasons, you get your red, white and blue for Memorial Day, 4th of July and if you're truly patriotic keep them on for Veteran's Day.  Just think of the time you can save with these amazing lights.  October 31st is all done and November 1st you're smiling as your neighbor is ruining a sacred weekend cleaning up the last holiday mess only to be pulling Christmas lights out of storage.  You'll be able to watch your favorite sporting event while your neighbor is cursing at the tangled lights he quickly put away last year, telling himself next year will be the one promises he gets more organized.  Of course, you'll take commercial breaks to enjoy the show he puts on for the whole neighborhood.

Yes, I plan on cashing in on America's inability to allow a lapse between holidays.  I'm 40 years old, so I can actually recollect a time when Halloween would end and Charlie Brown's Christmas Special wouldn't come on television until the week before Christmas.  I'm pretty sure it's now for sale as a two set DVD or Blu Ray with The Great Pumpkin.  What's happened to us?  Why are we so impatient?  Is it that we are so busy looking down at our technology, so busy on our iPhones, iPads, PS3, X-Box Live and other screens, that the moment we look up, we expect the next holiday to be ready to go?  It's times like these that I search for a small cabin in the woods, get some Jiffy Pop and throw in  a VCR tape of Back to the Future.  Sure, I'll have to adjust the screen where the tape gets all fuzzy, and yes, I'll have to actually get up to put that tape into the VCR instead of having a remote with On Demand.  I need a world that is willing to slow down and grow old with me, not one that is racing non-stop to a finish line that is actually the start to another race, that will turn into a marathon followed by a Warrior Dash, ending in a triathlon.  If you're looking for me, I'll be the guy untangling Christmas lights this coming weekend, but I'll have a smile on my face soaking in the holiday spirit.

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