To Fight or Not To Fight ...that is the Question

I will count the number of fights I have in on my fingers ...let's see ... all fingers are still down.  I have not been in a single fight in my life.  In our society I am now supposed to feel like I am less of a man.  Or time to be labeled a wimp or worse.  Heck, for some reason ignorant people even label this gay.  Interesting that not fighting connects to a sexual orientation.  I want to take a moment to get in the ring and go a few rounds about fighting and why it even gets to this point or if it has to at all.

Reflecting on life, there have been times I was nearly in fights.  One time a soccer game got out of control and fans with beer bottles ran onto the field and began smashing bottles, kicking and punching our team.  One guy took a bottle, cracked it against a goal post and came at me.  I took a defensive stance and said something like, "Dude, what are you doing.  This ain't our fight.  We came to play soccer!"  For some reason that made sense to him and we proceeded to work together to get our separate friends to safety.

Years after that soccer incident, there was another one where a teammate of mine was cleated in the head and came up with a golf-ball-sized welt on his head, a crack through it and blood seeping out.  Immediately one of my teammates went to his trunk to get a baseball bat and came out swinging while one of their teammates went to his bag on the sidelines and got a knife.  For me, the important thing was getting my hurt teammate to safety.  I was concerned he wasn't going to do well with blood pouring out of his skull.  For others though, it's always about revenge.  It's always about defending ... I guess I'm wondering at times what is being defended.

If the only option was to fight to defend, I would.  Example, my wife, one of my children, even the Easter Bunny possibly in peril and needing my help.  I would definitely risk my safety to help them.  I would easily put my my body in harm's way.

But fighting you because you said something behind my back?  Fighting you because you called me out in front of others?  Fighting you because you are interested in something I have?  What am I defending?  What am I fighting for?

Imagine you could read the minds of everyone around you.  Now imagine the next ten minds you came across were thinking negative things about you.  How silly it would be for you to act on this.  What are you fighting for?  "Well, he was thinking something bad of me?"  A word I don't use often comes to mind - pathetic.

Last night, I had a nightmare.  I was in my classroom and a fight broke out in front of school.  The fight was so bad that one student would never see another day to fight.  The reality of this, is I have experienced this in my life.  I lost a student, a friend, a young man to a fight that didn't have to happen.

In Tyler's name, I ask that you put down your senseless fights.  It takes more strength and courage to not be part of something senseless.

Watching a video like Sharkeisha is hurtful to see.  What is worse though is all the hits such a video will get.  All the excitement that surrounds such a horrible event.  This girl is meaningless.  Her life is meaningless.  Her actions were senseless.  If a boy decides to wander in a relationship, guess what ... he made that choice.  What was she fighting for?  Why is that worth fighting for?

During this holiday season, take the time to think about your life, where you're going and what's really worth lifting your fists to defend.  Most times you'll find it's not worth it.

Grow Up College Students!!!!!

It's time for me to get on my soap box and rant about how pathetic some college students can be.  I know this isn't the time of year to be bitter, but please let me have my moment.  I promise I'll go back to  humming Christmas Carols after I let off this steam.

The video of University of Oregon Students having a snowball fight sickens me.  Too many "What Ifs" shoot through my brain.  These immature college kids had no idea who was in that car they pelted with snowballs.  They'd be the same kids crying to mommy or daddy if one of them was run over because the driver decided to hit the gas pedal instead of the brake.  Yes, part of me wishes the driver floored it to teach them a lesson, but I'm sure they would have just complained and cried tears of, "We were just having fun. "

So what really happened?  The poor man who got out of his car tried to get these losers to stop hitting cars.  He was trying to educate them about their character.  Be good people.  Don't throw things, yes even snowballs, at someone else's property.  Have your snowball fight with each other.  Blast each other with snowballs.  Make snow forts and have a good ol' fashion snowball fight.  But seriously, leave the innocents out of it.  I can only imagine if a woman with a stroller walked by, or an elderly woman or man with a walker.  I feel like these college jerks would be vicious enough to harm anyone without any remorse or concern.

My hope is college students are identified, they are prosecuted to the fullest degree of the law as hoodlums and reckless citizens.  I also hope it goes on their permanent record; maybe something that says, "I'm a complete idiot and enjoy being part of a mob."

Hold on, did I just type all of that?  Don't I remember what it was like to be young and carefree?  Didn't I engage in reckless activity like cannonballing into a soda machine one night or taking a shovel and damaging some streetlight bulbs?  Am I not the thief who abducted Christmas ornaments from a tree and also a stuffed bird?  Wasn't this me back in the day ..... possibly.
So let's say, I did all of the above in my "stupider" days.  Where would I be today if I had a permanent record showing my lack of care for the property of others?

The answer in these situations is never simple.  I respect the retired college professor who got pelted.  I respect that he is not pressing charges because he understands kids do stupid things in the heat of the fun.  He doesn't want to see futures damaged because of what was meant to be innocent recreation.  Still, an apology from each student and maybe even the consequence of having to shovel that retired professor's driveway, front porch, sidewalks and cleaning off his car after every snow storm this year would be a nice gesture in good character.

Ahhh,...I feel better already.  So here's a nice Christmas video that will calm you down.  Enjoy

2013 Soul Train Awards: Saaaayyyy Whaaaaaaaaaaattttttt??????

I grew up watching Soul Train with Don Cornelius.  I wasn't a diehard fan of it, but I'd flip between Soul Train for the dancing and Solid Gold for the Solid Gold Dancers.  This is well before MTV and VH-1, and at least a digital millennium or two before the internet even had pictures or videos.

Last night I tuned into the 2013 Soul Train Awards.  Last night, I felt like I was inflicting mental self-harm by not changing the channel.  It was painful to say the least.  Every artist I witnessed did a more heinous lip sync of their song than the next.  Ron Isley looked like a dude in a Kung-Fu movie where his mouth voiced the words three seconds after they were heard.  Somebody help me understand this.

Ron Isley

I can see if you are dancing, doing flips and performing with your body like Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears in her good days, or the late King of Pop MJ.  But c'mon old soul people!  All you have to do is either stand there or sway there and sing.  If you can't sing your songs anymore, get off the stage and hand it over to the DJ.  It's almost as embarrassing as Michael Bolton doing car commercials these days.

One of the saddest highlights of the night was when Warren G. hit the stage with his smash hit, "Regulate" from the 90s.  This duo with the late Nate Dogg, was my jam back in the day.  "Regulators ... mount up!"  Warren G.'s performance was like watching the first round of American Idol, and yes he   would not be welcome back the next week.

Warren G. today with Ron Isley

Warren G. back in the day

I'd Rather Have Nice Students than Smart Students

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=m5yCOSHeYn4

Most people think about education today, and they immediately jump to high stakes testing, Common Core and how we need to speed up, learn faster, learn more or else our students will not be college and career ready.  (taking a hiatus to regain my composure before I type something hostile...)

Pause .... rhythmic breathing ... pause ... in through the nose and out through the mouth breathing ....

Here's my take on education today:

Give me a room full of, oh let's say 30 students.  Go ahead tell me their data; give me their pretest scores, their state scores, their reading levels and all the past successes and failures they have experienced.  Throw their address on for good measure because doesn't living on a certain street dictate your mental capacity?  Put all of that on my desk.  I will do everything I can to bury it under stacks of student writing, stories we will read and other more important info, and I hope to uncover it around June 29th.

Don't get me wrong, my students will learn this year, and with the exception of my immediate family, they are the most important people in my life.  The reality is though, they will learn and as far as the books go, as far as the reading and writing, they will be ready for college and careers.  More important is getting them ready to be good people.

In the end, I want my students to be good, no great, no amazingly-stupendous- incredible-lift-you-on-their-shoulders type of people.  The ones you can depend on to brighten your day.  The ones who bring a smile and a kind word or two into a room with them.  The type of people who stand up for important values that the world appreciates regardless of religion or culture.  Values that transcend our differences and focus on what we have in common.  Yes, I want those students.  I want Honors Human Beings, not Honors English Students.  What's the point of having a big brain if you don't have a big heart?

What's the point of this one life you are blessed with if all you do is join the fast-paced rat race to gain more so you can just take more.  So many go through life blindly chasing that something, and we don't even know what that SOMETHING really is.  We just know it might put more money in our pockets.

In the end, I'd rather have nice students than smart students.  I'd rather have students who forgive, apologize and mean it, say excuse me (and not just when they burp or fart), say please and thank you, and even hold a door for another or find a nice thing to say to someone they don't have to say a thing to.  This is my wish and my hope.