To Fight or Not To Fight ...that is the Question

I will count the number of fights I have in on my fingers ...let's see ... all fingers are still down.  I have not been in a single fight in my life.  In our society I am now supposed to feel like I am less of a man.  Or time to be labeled a wimp or worse.  Heck, for some reason ignorant people even label this gay.  Interesting that not fighting connects to a sexual orientation.  I want to take a moment to get in the ring and go a few rounds about fighting and why it even gets to this point or if it has to at all.

Reflecting on life, there have been times I was nearly in fights.  One time a soccer game got out of control and fans with beer bottles ran onto the field and began smashing bottles, kicking and punching our team.  One guy took a bottle, cracked it against a goal post and came at me.  I took a defensive stance and said something like, "Dude, what are you doing.  This ain't our fight.  We came to play soccer!"  For some reason that made sense to him and we proceeded to work together to get our separate friends to safety.

Years after that soccer incident, there was another one where a teammate of mine was cleated in the head and came up with a golf-ball-sized welt on his head, a crack through it and blood seeping out.  Immediately one of my teammates went to his trunk to get a baseball bat and came out swinging while one of their teammates went to his bag on the sidelines and got a knife.  For me, the important thing was getting my hurt teammate to safety.  I was concerned he wasn't going to do well with blood pouring out of his skull.  For others though, it's always about revenge.  It's always about defending ... I guess I'm wondering at times what is being defended.

If the only option was to fight to defend, I would.  Example, my wife, one of my children, even the Easter Bunny possibly in peril and needing my help.  I would definitely risk my safety to help them.  I would easily put my my body in harm's way.

But fighting you because you said something behind my back?  Fighting you because you called me out in front of others?  Fighting you because you are interested in something I have?  What am I defending?  What am I fighting for?

Imagine you could read the minds of everyone around you.  Now imagine the next ten minds you came across were thinking negative things about you.  How silly it would be for you to act on this.  What are you fighting for?  "Well, he was thinking something bad of me?"  A word I don't use often comes to mind - pathetic.

Last night, I had a nightmare.  I was in my classroom and a fight broke out in front of school.  The fight was so bad that one student would never see another day to fight.  The reality of this, is I have experienced this in my life.  I lost a student, a friend, a young man to a fight that didn't have to happen.

In Tyler's name, I ask that you put down your senseless fights.  It takes more strength and courage to not be part of something senseless.

Watching a video like Sharkeisha is hurtful to see.  What is worse though is all the hits such a video will get.  All the excitement that surrounds such a horrible event.  This girl is meaningless.  Her life is meaningless.  Her actions were senseless.  If a boy decides to wander in a relationship, guess what ... he made that choice.  What was she fighting for?  Why is that worth fighting for?

During this holiday season, take the time to think about your life, where you're going and what's really worth lifting your fists to defend.  Most times you'll find it's not worth it.